The woman scanning my items wore a butterfly pendant around her neck. I love butterflies. Butterflies are a way I believe my beloved grandmother appears to me. (She died in 1988. Her name was Helen Theodora Becker. She wore polyester pant suits, exclusively. Her favorite foods were spaghetti and donuts. She gave birth to my mother.)
I asked the woman, "Do you believe that our ancestors can appear to us as animals? Like as butterflies and hummingbirds?" She responded, "Ma'am, I absolutely do." She explained that when she visits a family member's home there is a hummingbird always in the yard. She said, "I believe it is God's way of saying..." I finished her sentence, "I am here." She said, "Yes."
I let her know that butterflies remind me of my grandmother and that when is I see them I believe they are her way of making herself known to me. She said she was sorry that my grandmother had died. I nervously responded that it was okay and that it happened a while ago.
The woman said that she has a relationship with coyotes. She said that when she sees coyotes it is a warning to her. She said she once saw three coyotes run through her yard. Shortly afterwards, she got into a car accident. She said that she now knows to protect herself when she sees coyotes. She made a gesture with her hands drawing them down and inward toward her heart.
She shared with me that she used to work for hospice and at a nursing home. She said that she will always remember the night a woman died. She described that the woman was a very mean old lady-vicious. She described that as she was walking to the woman's room she heard the coyotes "laughing" outside. When she arrived at the woman's room, the old woman was dead.
The woman at the Walmart check out explained she felt as though the coyotes were laughing at her death-that she was so mean and that she couldn't escape her mortality. I remarked that it must have been difficult to see people die.
She remarked that, "Being present for the death of a person-in the final moments- is the greatest gift a human being can give to another. To be able to offer them some peace, especially when many of them would otherwise die alone." She said she considered being a mortician to be able to allow families the rite of grieving without worrying about the details of the death ceremonies.
I let her know that I appreciate that she was comfortable and called to the work of being present for people who are dying. I let her know that I do not believe I am called to that type of work-that it would be too difficult for me. But that I am called to other work.
I shared that I currently work with young children who have experienced childhood sexual abuse. People often comment to me that they couldn't work with children who have been hurt so badly and so early on in their lives. I shared that I am so grateful to spend time with these very special children.
The woman shared that she wishes kids could understand that the abuse was not their fault and that they are not wrong and that adults make very bad and sick choices. I agreed with her by smiling and nodding affirmatively.
I thanked her for the conversation, to which she responded, "Goodnight, ma'am."
No comments:
Post a Comment